A bad, bad Friday night
On top of the other this's and that's that have been keeping the free time happy lately, I had a very unhappy experience. This past Friday night, a bunch of friends were getting together to some recently-wed friends before they take off on their adventures around Australia. Three weeks into theis couple's relationship, they decided to move to Cairns together and have basically lived around the country ever since. She's a midwife and he's an engineer type who picks up random jobs wherever she happens to find a placement. They came back to Sydney for a few months before their wedding to finish off planning and such, but in typical form they are set to leave again! Exciting for them, so we had a get-together to see them off before they disappear for another year.
We all met up in north Sydney for a BBQ then set off to the local pub where the wedding band was playing. Off to the pub, off to the pub. We went inside where the fellow pub-goers were beginning their Friday night revelry. Not big dancers, Marcus and I found ourselves at the side of the room gently making fun of the music. Marcus's arm around my waist, we were standing and watching the crowd amusedly, soberly, when all of a sudden someone grabbed my butt. Not possibly Marcus as his arm was around my waist, and not possible to be anyone else but a jerk standing behind me giving me creepy eyes. I swiftly tell Marcus that this slime has just violated me, to which Marcus's eyes darken and he steps in very closely to have a few words with said jerk. My blood is boiling and I start yelling and cursing, which goes entirely unregistered by the offender. Marcus is getting ready to rumble, and a few of our male friends come over to lend their presence and break up or join into a fight if necessary. Marcus looks at me, asking if he wants me to take care of the situation. I really, really do, but I don't want him to have to deal with the consequences of a pub brawl, so I tell him no and promptly look for the security guards.
Luckily the security guards were great and took care of the situation immediately. I thought only one had come inside with me, the head of security. But as I showed him who the perverted asshole was, I noticed another following behind us, and three others sliding noiselessly into place. I watched close by as the security guards leveled with him, this drunk piece of trash that really deserved a kick in the nuts. He was being difficult and refused to leave, which resulted in his being very forcefully dragged from the premises. I watched on in glee as one of the security guards squashed his face as they left the building. That was a much better solution than any of our boys fighting--let security take care of it.
Ugh, I was so furious!!! I am furious! My heart was pounding, the adrenaline rushing through my body, my legs shaking and I had to sit down to try to calm down. It makes me so angry that men think they can behave that way! Not all men, certainly, but there is a significant portion of the male sex that think they can do whatever the hell they want to a woman, and it's sick. It's amazing that this kind of behavior still exists in this day and age. Those kinds of actions should never take place. Women shouldn't have to worry about being violated, they shouldn't have to be afraid and constantly vigilant to be sure that this won't happen to them. When will it stop? I mean, I was lucky and what happened to me wasn't as bad as what other women have had to deal with and I was surrounded by people who could help me bring justice to the situation.
I am still absolutely fired up about the situation. I've started looking into local kickboxing classes. I love yoga, but that's not going to help me defend myself. I want confidence. I want someone to show me how to defend myself. Hell, I want to know how to fight back and kick some ass! (Really, if that ever happened again I would kick nuts...but y'know, ass.)
We were catching up with another couple on Sunday, one of whom is a cop who gave some additional insight to the situation. What happened to me is defined as "indecent assault" and can result in a fine. Charges can also be pressed, and the offender can be taken to court. Hells yeah! I would take that motherf***er down! If I rewound the tape and went back to Friday night, I would have had security hold him until the police came and I would have filed charges against him. He would literally have to pay for his indiscretion, along with many other indiscretions he made (they can add up fines for use of foul language, refusal to leave the premises, drunk and disorderly conduct, and any other number of creative uses of the law). I would have had to go to court to press charges formally and if he was found guilty he would have a criminal charge to his name. Awesome! I would totally go to court and I would make this guy pay for his actions because undoubtedly if he did this to me, he's done it to other women. And he will do it again. I will do everything in my power to make them learn the lesson and change their behavior. They should not be able to get away with something like that.
And I certainly hate to be harsh on my sex and any victims of these kinds of crime, but the offenders aren't the only guilty parties. This kind of stuff goes unreported and unpunished all the time. Women choose to let it slide rather than taking a stand and making violators pay for what they've done. If we ever want these scum to change their behavior, they need to face the consequences of their actions. And the only person that can hold them accountable are the victims. So I say victims stand up! Stand up for yourself and for all of the other victims that may have been violated by that person in the past or that may yet be perpetrated by that person in the future. If they don't face justice, they will continue with that awful behavior. It will happen again and again. Personally, I will do my part and I will support any of my friends and family who have had an act of violence made against them. We need to band together and help each other to really affect change.
As you can tell, this experience is still coursing quite strongly through me. Eventually I'll calm down. But quite frankly, this shit shouldn't happen.
We all met up in north Sydney for a BBQ then set off to the local pub where the wedding band was playing. Off to the pub, off to the pub. We went inside where the fellow pub-goers were beginning their Friday night revelry. Not big dancers, Marcus and I found ourselves at the side of the room gently making fun of the music. Marcus's arm around my waist, we were standing and watching the crowd amusedly, soberly, when all of a sudden someone grabbed my butt. Not possibly Marcus as his arm was around my waist, and not possible to be anyone else but a jerk standing behind me giving me creepy eyes. I swiftly tell Marcus that this slime has just violated me, to which Marcus's eyes darken and he steps in very closely to have a few words with said jerk. My blood is boiling and I start yelling and cursing, which goes entirely unregistered by the offender. Marcus is getting ready to rumble, and a few of our male friends come over to lend their presence and break up or join into a fight if necessary. Marcus looks at me, asking if he wants me to take care of the situation. I really, really do, but I don't want him to have to deal with the consequences of a pub brawl, so I tell him no and promptly look for the security guards.
Luckily the security guards were great and took care of the situation immediately. I thought only one had come inside with me, the head of security. But as I showed him who the perverted asshole was, I noticed another following behind us, and three others sliding noiselessly into place. I watched close by as the security guards leveled with him, this drunk piece of trash that really deserved a kick in the nuts. He was being difficult and refused to leave, which resulted in his being very forcefully dragged from the premises. I watched on in glee as one of the security guards squashed his face as they left the building. That was a much better solution than any of our boys fighting--let security take care of it.
Ugh, I was so furious!!! I am furious! My heart was pounding, the adrenaline rushing through my body, my legs shaking and I had to sit down to try to calm down. It makes me so angry that men think they can behave that way! Not all men, certainly, but there is a significant portion of the male sex that think they can do whatever the hell they want to a woman, and it's sick. It's amazing that this kind of behavior still exists in this day and age. Those kinds of actions should never take place. Women shouldn't have to worry about being violated, they shouldn't have to be afraid and constantly vigilant to be sure that this won't happen to them. When will it stop? I mean, I was lucky and what happened to me wasn't as bad as what other women have had to deal with and I was surrounded by people who could help me bring justice to the situation.
I am still absolutely fired up about the situation. I've started looking into local kickboxing classes. I love yoga, but that's not going to help me defend myself. I want confidence. I want someone to show me how to defend myself. Hell, I want to know how to fight back and kick some ass! (Really, if that ever happened again I would kick nuts...but y'know, ass.)
We were catching up with another couple on Sunday, one of whom is a cop who gave some additional insight to the situation. What happened to me is defined as "indecent assault" and can result in a fine. Charges can also be pressed, and the offender can be taken to court. Hells yeah! I would take that motherf***er down! If I rewound the tape and went back to Friday night, I would have had security hold him until the police came and I would have filed charges against him. He would literally have to pay for his indiscretion, along with many other indiscretions he made (they can add up fines for use of foul language, refusal to leave the premises, drunk and disorderly conduct, and any other number of creative uses of the law). I would have had to go to court to press charges formally and if he was found guilty he would have a criminal charge to his name. Awesome! I would totally go to court and I would make this guy pay for his actions because undoubtedly if he did this to me, he's done it to other women. And he will do it again. I will do everything in my power to make them learn the lesson and change their behavior. They should not be able to get away with something like that.
And I certainly hate to be harsh on my sex and any victims of these kinds of crime, but the offenders aren't the only guilty parties. This kind of stuff goes unreported and unpunished all the time. Women choose to let it slide rather than taking a stand and making violators pay for what they've done. If we ever want these scum to change their behavior, they need to face the consequences of their actions. And the only person that can hold them accountable are the victims. So I say victims stand up! Stand up for yourself and for all of the other victims that may have been violated by that person in the past or that may yet be perpetrated by that person in the future. If they don't face justice, they will continue with that awful behavior. It will happen again and again. Personally, I will do my part and I will support any of my friends and family who have had an act of violence made against them. We need to band together and help each other to really affect change.
As you can tell, this experience is still coursing quite strongly through me. Eventually I'll calm down. But quite frankly, this shit shouldn't happen.
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