I feel like my blog is a school assignment, and sometimes it feels very much like a stream of consciousness, free-write where the pencil can't stop moving and you have to keep writing words no matter what they are. Whatever pops into your head is what goes down on the paper. So today the scatter-gun is getting put to good use to thread out a few thoughts.
- Quite often at my workplace, we come across wannabe star-spotters who know they're in the workplace of famous people and are hoping to catch a glimpse of a home-grown super star. (Currently we have Bryan Brown in a play--y'know, the Australian guy in Cocktail.) And as one of our artistic directors is particularly famous, they tend to look for her. I don't actually look like her, but we do have three common features--tall, blond, slim. There are days when I get stare downs from people trying to figure out if I am said artistic director and have even heard schoolgirls whisper, "Look, it's CB!" as I walk past. It always makes me giggle.
- Last night I dreamt I was in a ramshackle house with a group of jerky, rowdy boys outside trying to get in to do bad things (I'm sure you can imagine). One of the guys got inside and to try to prevent him from doing anything to me, I attacked his nuts with a spaghetti fork which, since it was plastic, was rather ineffective. He just laughed. Until I kneed him in the nuts.
- In order to deal with those kinds of thoughts popping up not only in waking life but also in my dreams, I'm taking a trial martial arts class on Thursday. It may be more than I want to pay, but when comparing this with joining a gym (which I have procrastinated for well over a year), this wins. It will give me a peace of mind and confidence that I can take care of myself. I don't like feeling like a victim or waking up in the middle of the night to nightmares. This should help ease the anxiety.
- One of the gals at work said her worst dreams are of her getting angry and yelling at her mom over packing boxes. I've had nightmares for as long as I can remember. Isn't that quite normal?
- Marcus had a really horrible nightmare right after we first met, when we were in Brazil. It was so horrible that he's never told me about it. We think perhaps it was passionfruit induced. :) They do say that some foods can bring about nightmares, so who knows?
- The best dream I ever had started out as a nightmare. I think I was being chased by dinosaurs or by king kong. Then I became king kong. I grew, grew, grew and before I knew it I was towering over houses and buildings. I stomped around in the streets, picking up cars and smashing them down, scaring people away. And you know how when you yell in real life there's always a restriction to how loud you can yell? Well that restriction disappeared and I could roar to no end. It was awesome.
- For a period of time, I was semi-lucid in my dreams and could sometimes fly. That is my ultimate freedom in dreams, flying. But this bit of consciousness came in very handy in nightmares during that time, because when the bad guys got too close, I could just decide that they couldn't see me anymore. Or I would just fly out of the window, which was just as effective (and more fun).
- The worst recurring theme in my dreams, other than being chased by dinosaurs, is losing my teeth. None of those dreams have descended upon me lately, but I used to have them all the time. A dream dictionary once told me it has to do with feeling a loss of control. There were six or seven other suggestions as well, but they were all so off the wall and not remotely right so perhaps I often feel a loss of control. That would certainly make sense of the nightmares, since I've lost my lucidity and sense of control there. Hmmmm
Dreams are quite interesting, and for a while I kept a dream journal. It's interesting to read back at the detail that has existed in past dreams. Who knows if they really do have a link to waking life and to our sense of reality. For a period in time, I also found dreams to be a great escape from waking life. I seem to be so much more creative when sleeping than while awake.
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