Thailand - Chiang Rai

From Mae Sot, Chiang Rai is a ten hour bus ride. Lots of napping, reading and Sudoku, not to mention the same Thai stand-up comedy DVD that seems to be on every single bus.

Chiang Rai. It's a decently-sized city despite the Lonely Planet's map which has been reduced to the small corner frequented by backpackers. But that's their bread and butter so I suppose I can't begrudge them that.

Our first day we wandered to the main Wat, yet another former location of the Emerald Buddha, and wandered around looking at the small museum, turtle-infested ponds and murals depicting the long journey of the Emerald Buddha from location to location. Then we went to have lunch at Cabbages and Condoms, a restaurant whose proceeds go to Thailand's Population and Community Development Association to fund sexual awareness education (and has self-reportedly reduced the average number of children per family from seven to two).

A meat tenderizing Thai massage followed, then a wander amidst another night market, dinner at the market (less than $2 for chicken pad thai).

Today we booked in for a day tour and started at the White Temple, a temple built from 1998 and is beautifully white and sometimes disturbingly modern.

 

The beautifully clean white color is a representation of heaven.

 

 

After feeding some koi through a baby's bottle (weird), we walked through one of the temple's representations of hell--hands reaching up from the ground holding skulls (which we were instructed not to put money offerings into--it's not what the Chiang Rai people do), alms bowls, and a hand flipping you off with a red fingernail, another hand with lips coming out of the palm, and another hand with a penis finger (either the Thais or the tourists are obsessed with penises--they're everywhere).

 

And then comes the even weirder stuff, which started outside the temple.

 

 

Do you recognize that character in the lower right-hand corner? Predator? Yep. Part of the representation of evil. On the left-hand side of the picture is a bottle of Thai whiskey with a red skull underneath. No drinking whiskey (or smoking) before going into the temple. (Or in the temple? Because our guide definitely smoked before going in...). Here are some examples of crazy heads who were too evil to get into the temple. 

 

We saw batman's head hanging from one of these trees on the way out. Want to hear weirder? When you walk into the temple, you're greeted with modern paintings of Buddha in happy green, blue and gold tones. Fluffy, cloudy, happy Buddha. But when you turn around, you're facing an evil red dragon face whose mouth is the entry/exit door, just waiting to swallow you. Which makes the fact that there's only one door slightly disappointing--you have to walk in and out through the hell door. The red hell face is also decorated with all kinds of pop culture icons--Spiderman, Freddy Kruger, Star Wars, Sailor Moon, Michael Jackson, Kung Fu Panda, a Converse shoe and a myriad of other graphics. There was also a picture of the twin towers with one tower on fire. Certainly unnerving.

 

In the art gallery next door (all paintings and pictures by the artists who designed and built/is building the White Temple), there are more happy Buddha paintings, a smaller copy of the hell face wall, and a few other random pictures. Namely George Bush sitting on some nuclear warheads out in space followed by George Bush and Osama bin Laden riding together on what I can only assume is a nuclear warhead...out in space. Some kind of Buddhist reference?

 

It is certainly one of the more unique temples we've visited. And completely bizarre.

 

Following the white temple, we visited the Black Temple. Which I don't know too much about other than the fact that it's not a temple, but a series of buildings and sculptures using horns, various animal skins and ritualistic-looking patterns. But at this point our tour guide decided to convert into a mere driver and no more information was shared. Other than the fact that he and his friends sometimes like to go into the forest and catch cobras with their bare hands. Then sell them for 3,000 baht. Wait. 2,000 baht. He seems like quite a reliable character. Anyway, here's the black temple--slightly reminiscent of some viking buildings I saw with Jessi and Matt in Norway.



After that we headed to a special buffet lunch for tourists that made us both sick. Buffets shouldn't be trusted, especially those on the side of the highway in Thailand.

Then we visited the Golden Triangle, where a river from Burma joins with the Mekong and where  Thailand, Burma and Laos meet. This picture is slightly less of a golden triangle, and more green. We're in Thailand, the green triangle is Burma and the area across the river is Laos.

 

Then we visited a museum about opium, a crop that used to flourish in this area and probably still does on the Burma and Laos sides, but Thailand has reputedly cracked down on their opium crops. Which strikes me as a good thing as opium seems like a nasty drug, despite the fact that it's used in morphine. It obviously has its positive and negative sides and the museum told a few different myths about how the poppy came about. One hill tribe has it that a beautiful young girl had seven men fall in love with her and since she couldn't decide between the seven, she decided to sleep with all of them, which made her die. From her grave, from her heart, grew the first red poppy. Then other tribes associate the poppy growing from the grave of a woman with bad odor.

 

The next and final stop was at a temple compound that is overrun with monkeys. Some of the monkeys had little babies clinging to them as they ran, which was pretty cute.

 

 

We also climbed up to a cave housing a temple inside, which was pretty cool.

 

 

And that was our trip around Chiang Rai!

 

Now, to do a little bit of a Thailand summary on our last day in the country (for a few weeks anyway). A few facts, observances, and thoughts. Anyone who's been to Thailand already will probably nod knowingly as you read this, but for people like my nieces in Utah, these will be some newbies.

• Toilets -- traditional Thai toilets are squatting toilets and toilet paper is not part of the process. Instead you get a ladle of water (which is also used for flushing). If you're lucky, you'll get a sprayer, the same kind you'll find on a kitchen sink. Instead of a kitchen sprayer, it's used for more, um, sensitive areas. That being said, western toilets are on the rise and I've only used squatting toilets at rest stops. Thus far.
• Bathrooms -- in most of the guest houses we've stayed at, the bathroom is tiled and the toilet and the shower share the same space. Which is quite an efficient use of space, but it also means that if you go to the bathroom after you've showered, you're dealing with a very wet toilet seat (when you have a western toilet that is!).
• There are dogs and cats everywhere. More cats than dogs. I've also seen a mouse crawling across a housing beam and we saw rats digging through the trash in Bangkok. The dogs and cats are all pretty mangy and though some are pets, they're hard to decipher from those that live on the streets. We have thus far avoided petting any animals. And rabies. Success.
• The mattresses are hard. I didn't recall this phenomenon from my last visit to Thailand, but dang these mattresses are doing my back in! If you're a side sleeper, you'll wake up to a very sore shoulder.
• Motorbikes and motorcycles are the typical Thai form of transportation, at least locally. We saw some brand new bikes at a store yesterday and saw a few models for under $2,000 US. Pretty cost-effective, and very good at avoiding traffic jams.
• Thailand is fairly safe and the people generally friendly. We haven't felt unsafe since arriving.
• Monsoon season does in fact mean it rains every day. Our rain jackets are getting good usage.
• Thai food is excellent. And spicy. In just two weeks, taste buds are already adapting to the spice. I've only cried once from the spice. Beware spice on the other side, though, if you know what I mean.
• We're (or I am) pretty sure there's a two-tiered price system on many things--a Thai price and a westerner price. Though we haven't seen it in force, I think it's there.
• Extreme capitalism. Assume you are bartering prices for everything. Except maybe hotel rooms and things whose prices are already marked, but even then there's wiggle room. The hotel we're staying in right now is normally 450 baht, and right now it's 350 baht (that's about $14). But assume people will try to get as much out of you as they can. Which they will. But also remember that prices vary widely. Marcus's fake Ice watch started at 750 baht and came down to 250 baht. The travel guides typically say that when offered a price, you should counter with half that amount then find a price somewhere between those two prices. The watch is an extreme example of how these guidelines aren't always reliable. Also, my fake Mulberry wallet started at 1200 baht and we got her down to 400 baht. Mm hmm. Snap. Also remember to play nice and to play the game.
• Counterfeit and fake designer goods abound. Armani, Burberry, Chanel, D&G...fake copies of their products can be found for great prices. I can't speak for the quality since I tend to stay away from designer goods myself, but it seems to make a lot of westerners happy. And let's face it, I'll probably get a fake Frank Muller watch when we go back through Bangkok because it reminds me of window shopping for Swiss watches in Geneva.
• Markets. There are markets everywhere and they're pretty fun at first, but then you realize that most of the products are pretty much the same. A few variances can be found (and I can't help but have my attention drawn by shiny jewelry, though I don't buy it), but it takes a determined market-goer.
• Wat = temple. There are wats EVERYWHERE. The prevalence of religious buildings is somewhat overwhelming and we have to be careful not to "temple out". The temples are beautifully ornate and colorful with a wide variety of golden Buddhas spread throughout the wat compounds. The temples are starting to look the same, even though we know they hold stark differences. We're starting to salivate for more information, history and context about the sites we're seeing.

There are certainly many other things I'm forgetting, but this will do for now. Tomorrow we cross the border into Laos into a city called Houay Xai. We'll get our bearings, spend the night then head out the next day for the Gibbon Experience, to hike in the Bokeo Natural Reserve and zipline through the tree canopies to see the wildlife and, of course, the gibbons.