A very delayed Carnaval story

Okay, sorry for the slight hold-up in finishing the story of Carnaval (which was over a month ago…whoo, that’s just a slight postponement!). There may very well be some large holes in my memory, so apologies to Jon, Kari and Marcus if I left anything out.

Let’s see, now where were we…oh yeah, sitting on the bus from Iguazu to Rio, tightly holding my bag (by the way, totally just bought two mini-padlocks to lock up that bag while I’m on buses from now on—I also bought a headlamp, which is probably my coolest purchase since Marcus convinced me to buy yet another pair of silver shoes…). So there I was, floating in a state of bliss, thinking about my Australian and the impending visit with friends from home. So happy! My bus arrived in the seedy Rio bus station where I was greeted straight away with the weather that would define the rest of our time in Rio—clouds and rain.

I went straight away to wake up Jon and Kari by jumping on them in their hostel beds. That was the plan, anyway, but instead the hostel workers suggested that I announce my arrival over their loud speaker. : ) Awesome, and totally reminiscent of the K-mart days. They came down the stairs and I jumped on Jon as soon as he walked through the door and then a few tears may have slipped out of my eyes when I hugged Kari hello. It was so good to see my people! It was like having a little bit of home away from home. They greeted me with comments about how they were excited at the “new Tina” they had been reading about. Um, new Tina? What does that mean? Apparently I drink and swear a lot more. But Jon hates it when I say bad words! And have I really written about many drunken nights? I think not, but I could be wrong. I thought that was pretty funny, though, and admittedly, we did drink a lot of beer that week! (Jon, did I ever see you without a beer in your hand?) : )

We checked into our apartment, where my last few months of Spanish came in very handily as we tried to communicate to our Portuguese-speaking landlady. It was good fun to act as translator, especially translating a language I have never studied before! Afterwards we wandered around Copacabana for a bit, then set out to see giant Jesus! (Yes, another one, but this one is a bit more well-renowned—Cristo Redentor.) However it appeared as though we selected the wrong day to go see the statue, as the entire sky was covered in clouds. We reached the top and tried to take some pictures of the statue through the haze, even if we could just make out the silhouette… to no avail. We were just getting ready to head back down to join the rest of our tour group in the car, when all of a sudden we heard shouts from the other side of the statue. As shouting generally piques curiosity, we headed over to see what was going on, and through the clouds we saw…Rio. And then the statue! The clouds were flying by, opening up small, intermittent windows into the city as well as allowing us to view the statue for few-second intervals.

Before (during a "clear" moment):
After:
Unfortunately, Kari came down with the flu before she even left Seattle, so she spent the first three to four days trying to heal and recover her health. Our second day in Rio was the day we had scheduled our paragliding date, so we woke up bright and early and headed down to the street, only to be met by a Landcruiser with two benches and seatbelts in the back. Awesome! We couldn’t have looked more like tourists if we tried. We arranged for Kari to go paragliding the next day since she was feeling so miserable, but Jon and I set off to try our luck at jumping off the cliff. We arrived at the base of their operation where we signed our lives away then went outside to wait for our instructors. As it turned out, we were faced with yet another cloudy day, so cloudy in fact that we weren’t able to go paragliding. We were joined on the ride home by another group of people who had also been out of luck for the paragliding game. Jon struck up conversation with one of the guys while I was lost in my own world thinking about who knows what (probably the boy) when all of a sudden I heard something about a circus. My ears perked up. The guy was telling Jon that he worked in a circus. Ooh! Circus, yay. What circus, I asked?

Him: “Circus Sun”

Me: “Huh?”

Him: “Sirk Sol.”

Me: “What?”

Him: “Cirque du Soleil.”

Me (with a giant smile on my face): “No WAY!”

Him (with a slight look to the side): “Uh, yeah.”

Me (instantly wanting to become a Cirque du Soleil groupie): “Awesome!”

I have held this circus in the highest esteem for the last 6 or so years; their shows are absolutely incredible! If you think Olympic athletes are talented, just watch the people in this circus who are so amazingly multi-talented. It’ll make you think again! Gymnasts, high jumpers…mere mortals compared to the Cirque du Soleil gods. Okay, so I get a bit carried away, but seriously, I would be a Cirque du Soleil groupie. It was all I could do to keep myself from asking if they needed another office administrator on their tour…but don’t worry, I didn’t embarrass myself that badly. I just kept pumping him for all kinds of information about the tour. (Turns out he was touring with Alegria, the show I went to see with Peter and Trent a few years ago.) That encounter with the Cirque du Soleil performer totally made my day.

Then on the other hand, there was Kari who spent the entire day in bed while Jon and I wandered around Copacabana some more and discovered our first juice bar. Oh Rio, how I do miss your juice bars. Now as you know, I had just recently become addicted to the banana licuado, and we managed to find an amazing variation of this scrumptious beverage—fresh bananas (of course), milk, yogurt, and oats all blended together to make an amazingly thick and delicious smoothie. I’m telling you, the next new kitchen appliance you will find in my kitchen will be the blender…Anyway, that was our major score for the day as well as realizing the fantastic number of pharmacies there are to be found in Rio, and managed to weave our way through the Portuguese to find some flu medicine for Kari. We also went out and bought a pirated version of Alegria to watch that night. We tried looking for our friend, but it’s hard to identify those little men with painted faces as they fly through the air.

The next afternoon…Marcus arrived. (Happy sigh!) Kari was feeling a bit better, so we headed out to walk along the beach to the Copacabana Palace hotel to eat a ritzy lunch. And at 8 Reai for a beer and 22 for a grilled cheese sandwich, it was ritzy!) We also walked along the beach in Ipanema for a while and ended up with more Brahma. There was so much Brahma in Brazil…Anyway, the next day we did actually get to go paragliding! I was a little bit frightened to be so close to the edge of a cliff, and I had to not think about what I was doing when we actually ran off, but then we were just…floating. Like a bird, just floating our way down, quite peacefully. We decided to continue with our productive streak in getting out of the apartment, and we headed over to see Sugarloaf Mountain next. The views were beautiful and the cable car was good fun, but honestly my favorite part was the benches at the intermediate point. Seriously, those were the best benches I’ve ever sat on in my life! They’re high-backed and the seat part is so long that it made me feel like I was in giant land. (I kind of imagined myself in level four of Mario World…Danny, that’s level four of Mario World, right? If you have the super Nintendo, can I steal it when I get home?) Anyway, giant benches are awesome. I sat and fed Marcus coconut crackers…and while he wasn’t looking, I fed me more. : ) Ooh, we also tried some lemonade which was pure lemonade. We thought it was going to be a smoothie with some sugar in it, but uh, here’s a picture to give you an idea of how good those were: I’m sorry my dear, but it had to be done! I told you there would be retribution for taking so many pictures of me...just wait till I get a new camera!

That was the last day before Carnaval. On Friday, Carnaval began and we found ourselves making our way up to Santa Teresa to see one of the bandas. We came to find out that bandas are really just groups of people who follow a music-playing semi-truck (sometimes live, sometimes CDs, but pretty much always bad music!) on a pre-determined route while dancing and partying it up. We kept on running into Brazilians who were very concerned with our safety and well-being, and as we were costume hunting, a lady from a costume store let us overlook the banda from her rooftop terrace. Not a bad view, actually.Saturday we spent the day at the beach (I think!) and ended the night at a big outdoor party in Lapa where we eventually got rained, out at which point we made our way to the clubs which were packed like a can of sardines! We saw some people dancing straight-up horizontally, and it looked quite like sex on the dance floor. Welcome to Carnaval, my friends! Oh yeah, did I mention that they were handing out free condoms out in the streets? Marcus and I were in the internet café one day where we saw our neighbor’s Google search for how to use gonorrhea medicine. If that doesn't just define Carnaval in Rio, I don't know what does! During one of Kari’s sick nights, Jon, Marcus and I walked along the beach looking for a beachside bar, and we took a seat at the most crowded place we saw. Which happened to be overflowing with prostitutes, so that was interesting to observe. I can’t say I’ve ever done that kind of people watching before! The table cloth at our table was covered with burned cigarette holes, ashes, and I could have sworn there were diseases just crawling on the table, but it was definitely an experience to watch the red light district live.

Probably the best part of Carnaval, though, was getting to go watch the parade of samba schools at the Sambadromo. We spent about an hour bartering for scalped tickets between different vendors (poor Kari had to go to the bathroom that whole time, too!), but eventually we made our way in. I can’t say that we saw a lot of dancing, but the costumes and floats were elaborate and very, very well done.And as is typical of our entire time in Rio, we got rained out. Jon and Kari definitely brought Seattle with them.

The following day, I have absolutely no recollection of what we did, that page in my planner reads as a blank. I can only imagine that it involved rain, smoothies, and Brahma. The day after that, though, was Jon and Kari’s last day in Rio, so we went to the beach to enjoy the…beach. And the good weather that we were imagining in our heads. The absence of good weather didn’t keep us from going swimming, though, we were determined to have our Brazilian beaches! So we swam, we…cloud bathed, I suppose…and after our beach time we found our way to a churrasqueria where we ate meat and more meat until we just couldn’t eat any more...meat. There was a pretty decent salad bar with salads, veggies, fruit, and even sushi (which I naturally steered clear of), though we each only got a maybe semi-plate from the salad bar and let our plates instead be filled by the sizzling meats being personally delivered by the waiters. Chorizo and all different kinds of steaks and skewers, but my personal favorite was the cheesy-covered…I don’t even remember what kind of meat it was, I assume it was some kind of beef, but was it delicious! I also indulged in a passion fruit-flavored beverage. Well, and let’s face it, I am obsessed with coconut and passion fruit, and I will eat just about anything having to do with either. I ate coconut cracker-cookies and cocadas while making a regular habit of drinking fresh agua de coco (coconut water/juice/what have you—it remains a favorite). And the passion fruit is just as wonderful as ever, in drinks, ice cream…well, it’s wonderful aside from giving Marcus crazy nightmares. Anyway, back to the wonderful food…it was a good last meal to spend with my Seattle people. It was so good to see them and to have news from home, the latest CSF gossip, and updates from the dating worlds. When Marcus and I walked them to their taxi, my eyes started to water up, and then as the taxi left, I cried for the first time in quite a while. The tears help me adjust from one step to another, a step from having a little bit of home for a while, and the next step taking home away just as swiftly. It did make me miss my friends, my family, and the familiarity of my Seattle, but I’m staying strong and I’m not dwelling on it. I’ll be back some day. Which brings me to the other half of the story—the Marcus part.

As soon as I saw Marcus in our apartment in Rio, there was a sense of peace, and like a part of me came back. I don’t mean that as if a part of me was really missing, but it felt more complete to have him there. During the bus ride, my mind had already begun to stray along the thoughts of, “Would I go to Australia? Would I give up my Buenos Aires plans to be with him? Or will this be a love that ends when he goes home to Australia, and both of us continue on our separate paths?” The answer at that time rested in the next few weeks. I couldn’t get to any concrete answer on my own, so I let these thoughts float around a bit. Admittedly, I’m still skeptical and perhaps a bit jaded from past relationships, and since we know that I have the habit of pursuing (rather than being pursued, which I’ve told is what happens when someone actually cares about you), I didn’t want to be the person to bring it up. Well, that’s not something I even really needed to dwell on, because just a few days after Marcus arrived, we were doing something (reveling in each other, no doubt) when he looked into my eyes and said, “This can work.” Those words went right to the heart. I didn’t know exactly how it would work, but at that moment I knew that it really could. He told me that after I left Iguazu, he had been thinking about what it would be like to relocate to Seattle, and that was all I really needed to hear. We didn’t discuss it in depth then, but we both knew that we were going to be together, that we could be together, and above all that we should be together. (Hmm, a bit gushy? Yes, it is, but guess what, it is mushy! And it’s wonderful!) Eventually, though, the discussion did come up again and the decision was made easier by my huge indecisiveness in regards to what I want to do with my future. The truth is, the job in Buenos Aires was mainly a means to an end. I wanted to live in another city for an extended period of time (which could be done in Sydney) and to learn Spanish (which wasn’t going to be accomplished very well with this job where I would be speaking English all the time and having crazy office hours). Not to mention the fact that I would be doing the same job I had just left in Seattle. The company was attractive, and I really liked what they did, but the job itself wasn’t exactly a step forward. Yes, it would be international work experience, but there again, I could get international work experience in Sydney as well. Marcus, on the other hand, just finished two degrees, business and law, and had to end his South American adventures to start his first post-college job at a law firm back in Sydney. He’s actually starting down a career path, while I’m sitting in the middle of South America waffling. The only clarity I have received during this trip about what kind of career path I would like, has just led to a greater indecision. That’s the possibility of being a dessert chef and going to baking school. (I think I would absolutely love it…) So where does that leave me? In between culinary school, law school, MPA, peace and conflict studies, or some kind of international relations studies. Great, now I have even more things to think about! But here’s the bottom line: I can waffle anywhere. And I prefer to waffle with Marcus. I need to start experiencing, and start actually trying different things. Here in Buenos Aires, I was going to be staying with the same old, same old, but Sydney will force me to open the door of possibility. Which is absolutely frightening, but it also prevents me from putting off the career path mulling for yet another year.

And so, my friends, here is my big news: I am chasing the man I sincerely believe to be the love of my life to Australia! I’ve already bought my ticket and I leave at the beginning of August after MDA camp. I will be flying back to Portland on June 12th, spending about two weeks there, and then making my way up to Seattle to pass three weeks or so until I leave to go to MDA camp. (Be prepared, friends, since I am technically home-less, I will be looking for some couches to crash on!)

The thing is, this feels more right than possibly anything else in this world has ever felt right to me. It has the same kind of calling as Seattle called to me when I was in high school. It feels like the next step to be taking in life. I don’t know how it will turn out, I can’t even begin to say that I know how things are going to turn out. But if I were to give it a prediction, it would be two thumbs way, way up. This boy is like a dream come true. He treats me as well as Peter, he unabashedly lavishes verbal compliments and messages of love to me at the same level and intensity as my mother, and for some crazy reason, he believes I am perfect. I will disagree with him vehemently on that point, but when he tells me that we are perfect, I share the opinion. It’s like he’s exactly the person I have unknowingly been looking for all of my life. Even during the few miscommunication non-arguments we’ve had, I couldn’t help but love him all the more for his demeanor, as strange and crazy as that might sound. He loves all of the things I love about myself and forgot that I had always wanted someone to love about me. He also loves all those things that I don't love about me, which is absolutely perfect and he balances me out. He makes me happy. Not to mention the fact that I did always say that I was going to marry an Australian. How weird is that?! I mean, I have always felt the pull to Australia, and now I think I’m beginning to understand why. I just feel like this is the right thing to do, and as though my life has been setting me up for this. I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m looking forward to it. I am very much looking forward to going to Australia and being with Marcus and trying to figure out what it is I’m supposed to be doing with my life. Part of me feels as though I have run away from that question, but maybe that’s because I figured that this trip would serve as a sort of catalyst for helping me to solve this conundrum, that all of a sudden I would have an, “Aha!” moment and would instantaneously know what it is I’m supposed to do with my life. If only life were that easy! I know that will never happen, so in August I will return to a life of “normalcy” to begin taking solid action in some sort of work path. Maybe I’ll find a job in a bakery or café. Maybe I’ll find some amazing non-profit that I want to work for and manage to talk my way into a job (that’s the most likely answer). Maybe I’ll end up as a secretary at a law firm, getting a window into the world of what it might be like to be a lawyer. Who knows?! That professional career path seems to frighten the daylights out of me, but I know it’s not going to be an instant switch. I need to return to a normal life of routine and habits…after a year of travel and randomness. : )

However, before I run away to Australia, I continue on my path here. I decided that eight more weeks of Spanish classes would be desirable, yet again four hours a day, five days a week. I’ll hunker down and do some volunteering (though I just seem to be missing on this whole volunteering thing—the people here in Buenos Aires are not getting back to me, and when they do, there are other costs involved…not exactly what I was hoping for). After classes, I will finish traveling through northern Argentina, up to the Atacama desert, then to Bolivia, Lake Titicaca, and finally finish up with the south of Peru. It has now been about three weeks since Marcus left, and we are doing the things we need to do before we can be together again. But oh how I look forward to that day!