Brazilian visas, kids I want to kick, and Jesus

Obtaining a visa for Brazil—almost certainly a difficult process, one which I was very nearly denied. I had just finished filling out the computerized application form, when I was lucky enough to come across another American, Courtney from LA. She informed me that I needed to show a bank statement, which I had definitely forgotten to print out. A quick trip to an internet café later, and I found myself back in line with Courtney. When it was my turn, I nervously walked up to the desk, hoping this would be my one and only trip to the embassy. As usual, when they asked what my occupation was, I entered student, not giving it a second thought. The embassy lady asked me to write in my university—then she asked me for my student card. I replied that I didn’t have it, and that in fact I didn’t have one.

Embassy lady: “So you lied?” Ouch.

Me: “No,” I replied. “I just graduated.”

EL: “Do you have proof?”

Me: “No.”

EL: “Well, you lied, and this is your one application.”

Me: “I didn’t lie, but that’s how I was always told to fill out my application.”

EL: “When you signed this form, you signed that you were telling the truth. This is your only application.”

Shit. So…not cool, and now I’m not sure what that means for Carnaval in Brazil. At that point, new friend Courtney stepped in on my behalf to try to convince the lady that I should be given my visa, which really just made the lady even more disagreeable.

“No, I talk to you about your visa, I talk to her about her visa. You two speak the same language!”

At this point, Courtney and I looked at each other, bewildered. Uh, yes, we do speak the same language…I’m not really sure what that means…

Finally, she asked about my work and printed out a new application for me including my “work” information. I’m still an executive assistant at CSF, don’t you know…Thanks Jenn Funk. :) Then, without further to do, my visa application was complete. She didn’t ask for a copy of my plane tickets or anything! I went to the bank, paid the fee, and a few days later went back to that lovely place, that place of horror and wasted time for so many travelers, the Brazilian embassy, to pick up my visa. Yeah, that’s right, I got my visa! The other wonderful part of the story is that I went to Courtney’s hostel that night and found some people, more my type of people than the semi-creepy, old-man hippies at the other hostel. There was a group of kids from Northwestern, a few Israelis, one of which is one of the most beautiful boys I’ve ever met in my life and the other a happy, loving, super positive energy equalist, a fantabulously adorable Californian boy, and an intense Colombiano-Chileno.

I went ahead and made the hostel switch and am now far happier with my environment. I went out with everyone the next two nights, thus returning to the previous BA ways…but that didn’t last for very long, and I have since regressed to my norm—the home body (at least at night—when you’re walking all day, it feels so much better to sit down to a movie!) who spreads her love through beloved movies and cookies.

I had one rather extensive sight-seeing day, though. I took a trip to the zoo, and forgot just how much I don’t like the zoo. I always have difficulties seeing the animals in their small cages, like prisoners without their freedom spending their days walking around in circles as though they should have somewhere to go but unable to make the move. The baboons were really difficult to see and I’m determined that baboons have some eerily human qualities. The baboons in this zoo, like the zoo in Vienna (Joanna, I know you remember this), were obese and looked as if there was no cheer in their world. In their forced captivity, they get depressed, and in their depression they turn to food. But my favorite red-butted monkeys should be happy, swinging around on branches and keeping healthy with bananas or some such, you know? The worst part or the zoo, though? The kids. Not kidding, those kids at the zoo are little beyotches! They would step right in front of other people who were looking at the animals, stepping into them, on them, crossing all the lines that say “do not cross” and knocking on the glass (though let’s be honest, there were some adults knocking on the glass, too—not cool!). Who are these parents? I mean, I really am wondering at the Argentinean parenting methods, seeing these spoiled little mini-persons running around making menaces of themselves…and can I mention that the little girls are like miniaturized fashion plates? I feel as though 10-year olds shouldn’t be wearing make-up and dressing that trendily!

Here are some pictures for a few friends that I thought of while at the zoo:

Turtles for Laura

Lemurs for JoannaZebra for Cristina:And hippo being fed animal pellets by zoo-goers (how does that work, really, all of the animals being fed the same food pellets and at the heart's desire of the sight-seers rather than what's best for the animals???)
Anyhew, that was my zoo experience…later that day we headed out to a most disturbing theme park: Tierra Santa, aka Jesus-land. I was rather pleased with the fact that I went with two Jewish friends—oh the sacrilege! Naturally we went purely for the amusement factor. And don’t you worry, much amusement was had. Statues of Jesus, Adam and Eve, Moses, and other biblical stories all over the place. Of course the main focus was on Jesus—his birth, death, the last supper, being crucified, all depicted in statue format. (There were even some mini-theaters with creepy statues that moved, illustrating a few different stories—see Jesus being born every hour on the hour!) It was really strange in that its detail was immaculate, like going to Disneyland where everything is so ornate and just so. Ooh, at the souvenir stands you can even buy mini-pyramids and King Tut sarcophagi. That definitely coincides with the biblical saint theme...

Heart of gold!

Quick reminder: don't smoke next to Jesus

Eating, drinking and being merry

Um...can you really have this in an theme park?

Coolest "stick your head in" photo backdrop I've ever seen...3-D!

Scary baby!

The scariest part of all was probably at the end, when we lost our friend Lyel in Jesus-land. He was the most overwhelmed of the entire group at this strange depiction of the life of Jesus, and as we searched the deserted recreated Israel, we could only imagine him wandering around frightened, locked in the park overnight, having feverish nightmares as he tried to find a way out. Luckily, we managed to find him after the park closed (and after the security guard assured us that there was no one left in the park) and we all made it back to the hostel safely. Honestly this is one of the strangest sites I've ever seen...